Celebrating your Paper Pregnancy

This is something we frequently talk about at the adoption support group that I've been going to since August (I think that's when it started... time flies in some parts of my life). I think Tim and I have not done a good job at this. At times, I feel robbed. If I had a belly, folks would be asking me left and right how I was doing, offering to help me pick out a crib, etc.

I know folks are afraid to ask about the adoption because they don't want to upset us, but I would rather they ask than face a wall of silence. And I'm guilty of being afraid, too. I'm deathly afraid of setting up the nursery. Back in June, my mom's birthday present to me was a professionally painted nursery. Awesome gift, right?!? It is, but I just can't bring myself to do it until we have a referral. I can't bear the thought of walking past that room every day looking at an empty crib. The practical side of me is screaming to do it because I know when we get the referral our life will be so hectic until we travel. But sometimes it's easier emotionally to go about life and almost forget about the process. Perhaps I can work up the nerve to put things into motion.

How have you other adoptive parents and adoptive parents to-be handled this paper pregnancy? Did you start a journal, write a letter to your child...???? - Sarah

It's (Going to Be) A Boy!

When we sent in our application to our agency we were approved by our home study agency for an infant of either gender but we had noted that we had a preference for a boy. When the agency called to confirm we were officially on the list last March they said we were on for an infant of either gender. I said ok, not wanting to temp fate. However, after nearly 10 months of waiting and soul searching, we've told our agency that we really want to be on the waiting list for a boy — so we are! We're both very excited!!!! The timeline (3-6-ish more months before a referral) remains the same. - Sarah

Do the Salmon Dance

Tim and I had a nice morning today: coffee out, located a ceiling medallion at a local salvage yard and then I spent some of a Christmas gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket (thanks, George). Now, Tim's gone to a friend's house to watch the Redskins play ... hmmmm.... house all to myself .... what will I do?

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep I realized that my last post might have seemed angry, which I'm not. I know that I sometimes write about things that could be perceived as pretentious (cloth diapers, organic baby food, etc.), but I recognize that there are other options. What I really meant was that I like that the Web site shows all angles of parenting and isn't preachy. Every child is different so I imagine there's no one right way to parent. Enough said.

And on to the Salmon Dance. A coworker turned me on to this song yesterday. It's so unlike any other Chemical Brothers song I've heard before. I think it's a hoot. Take out the minor bad language and it actually could be a cute song to use in a science classroom. - Sarah

My New Favorite Site

Check out my new favorite site. There are some really cool essays here and great info from a different perspective - parents who aren't Beaver's mom. The series of stories on bad parents (including one about a mom who toked up and then hung out at the mall with her toddler) are seriously funny. No, I would NEVER do that, but I love that the writers on this site are so honest, have a great sense of humor and show parenting as it is. I'm so sick of reading pretentious parenting books and sites. - Sarah

Will We Ever Be Well???

This was both the best and the worst holiday season EVER. As you know, Tim had his wisdom teeth taken out the Thursday before Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we were in the doc. office because he had an infection. Then, on Christmas day, as we were visiting family, he started to get the flu/a cold. Saturday, as he was feeling much better, I started to get sick. I've just emerged from the cave that is my bedroom. Things are looking up, I think. I'm just so bummed that we didn't really get to spend much holiday time together.

On the other hand, I'm glad this happened this Christmas and not next year when we (hopefully) have our little one. I told Tim that if I get sick when we have kids he's gonna have to hire a nanny - I'm a real wuss.... down for the count!

Ok, time to eat some soup and drink some Yogi tea. Be well and Happy New Year!!! - Sarah

follow up on previous post

i thought that link would take you straigh there but it doesn't. if you click on faculty and look for Ellen Herman then you will see the link for the adoption history project.

interesting web site at university of oregon

this is a web site and i believe an academic working group on the history of adoption. interesting not always heart warming. http://cas.uoregon.edu/uogetpage.php?page=http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~history/