This is something we frequently talk about at the adoption support group that I've been going to since August (I think that's when it started... time flies in some parts of my life). I think Tim and I have not done a good job at this. At times, I feel robbed. If I had a belly, folks would be asking me left and right how I was doing, offering to help me pick out a crib, etc.
I know folks are afraid to ask about the adoption because they don't want to upset us, but I would rather they ask than face a wall of silence. And I'm guilty of being afraid, too. I'm deathly afraid of setting up the nursery. Back in June, my mom's birthday present to me was a professionally painted nursery. Awesome gift, right?!? It is, but I just can't bring myself to do it until we have a referral. I can't bear the thought of walking past that room every day looking at an empty crib. The practical side of me is screaming to do it because I know when we get the referral our life will be so hectic until we travel. But sometimes it's easier emotionally to go about life and almost forget about the process. Perhaps I can work up the nerve to put things into motion.
How have you other adoptive parents and adoptive parents to-be handled this paper pregnancy? Did you start a journal, write a letter to your child...???? - Sarah
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I hear you 100% on the psych issues with getting everything ready. Our future kids' room is a 1/2 painted vacant mess. And its tiny and would probably take an afternoon to finish. Then I would walk by it everyday and probably cry. Telling myself that I still have a lot to do before I'm ready makes the wait easier. I think. Not sure. Similarly, I do not child-proof the rest of my house. Something so sad about having it all kid friendly with no kids. Leaning Amharic and my blog are two wait-coping mechanisms of mine. Good luck!
Figuring out everything that you need can be SO overwhelming. Just the cloth diapering stuff took me nearly a week to sort through. I know we're on different journeys to having that first baby, but I also have a lot of fear about getting the nursery set up. For me, a good compromise is figuring out "on paper" what we need to do or get so that at least I have it worked out when we're ready to actually start making purchases and setting things up.
I'd love to help you figure out what you need, whenever you're up to it.
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