We Survived the First Birthday Party

Nigel's birthday party was yesterday. The weather was supposed to be crummy so everyone crammed into our tiny house. I think it went really well.... Nigel was overwhelmed at times, but there were no serious meltdowns.



I made cupcakes out of banana bread and topped them with a cream cheese frosting that was lightened with whipped cream and sweetened with agave.




Since we'd never given Nigel cake before - let alone an entire cupcake - he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. So, Tim cut it into fourths and the rest is history



Nigel got some really great gifts, including this singing mailbox from his grandma and grandpa M...


... and this awesome play cube from his grandmother and grandfather B. My mom and brothers gave us a family membership to the local children's museum!!

Mixed Emotions About Nigel's First Birthday

Nigel turned ONE today!

I always knew I wouldn't be able to take this day as a straight celebration. For starters, since Nigel has only been home for 8 months, it's kind of hard to think of him as being older than that.... no matter how large the genius child is.

Like all parents, Tim and I have loved watching our little one grow these past few months. He's a real person who's taking steps, standing up unassisted, loves to laugh, and has formed some distinct likes and dislikes. But - and I never thought I'd say this because I'm not really a baby baby person - it makes me sad to think about him growing up. All those months that he was a blob laying on a blanket I should have cuddled with him more instead of wishing for the days when we could cook together or ride bikes. He's gotten quite clingy rencently, and I'm savoring it as much as I can. Lord knows teenagers don't let you hug and kiss them all day!

But as an adoptive parent, two other things are on my mind today, the first being that I was totally oblivious to his very existance until almost two months after his birth. I just looked back at my old work calendars (yes, I keep those), and saw that I was at a women's health conference getting story ideas one year ago today. I didn't post on this blog on the day of Nigel's birth, but two days later there was this entry about getting our fingerprints done again (I still don't get that.... it's not like they change). How different my life is now because of him.

And lastly, but most importantly, my heart is heavy for Nigel's birthfamily. Throughout the entire adoption process I felt guilty about wanting a match so badly because ultimately that meant yet another child wouldn't be raised by their birthfamily, in their birthcountry. Yet another family would feel heartbreak. I hope they know that we think of them every day and tell Nigel how much they love him. - Sarah

guess who has a birthday on wednesday???????

Daddy loves you and we will have a great birthday. lots of boxes and balloons!

No, Thank YOU!

My awesome husband wrote this lovely post the other day, and it really touched me. One thing I've always loved about our relationship is our mutual respect for each other's "me" time. And since Nigel's been home, Tim is hyper aware of my need for space sometimes. After he decompresses for a few minutes after work, he plays with Nigel or takes him for a walk while I get some freelance work done. On the weekends, if we don't have anything going on he'll get Nigel up and feed him breakfast just so I can have an extra hour of sleep.

On the surface, these are all really small things that in actuality any husband/father should do. But I fully recognize that everyone isn't married to a man who sees marriage as an equal partnership. And I also know that I'm terribly lucky that although Tim goes to work early, he also comes home from work early. I am forever grateful that he's in my life. Love you, honey! - Sarah

Thank you

It has been a rough week in our house. I have had to work late every night this week as well as working saturday and sunday. This is doublly difficult as i get no time with Nigel and Sarah has had to spend all of her time with Nigel. This doesn't mean in any way that she doesn't love him but we all need a little me time. And Sarah has had no me time in a while. So I just want to say thank you for the wonderful job that she does and tell her that i appreciate her picking up my slack.
Love,
Nigel's Daddy

My Night With MOZ

(Sigh).... Morrissey.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would actually get to see Morrissey in concert. But I did!!!! Saturday night, my pal/former work husband and I swayed and bopped at The National to the most amazing, melancholy music ever created! It was like I was back in high school, sulking around in my Docs and thinking no one could ever understand me like Morrissey did. Oh the angst!

He sang his stuff as well as a few Smiths tunes. There was a lot of drama, writhing on the floor and he even took off his shirt and tossed it into the crowd. I have to say - the man looks dang good for 50! So what if it's sexually ambiguous? I am still totally in love with him! - Sarah

Almost a year old

Sometimes daddy can not believe how fast they grow.

Some Tax Tips From Newish Adoptive Parents (that's us)

I've been cheating on Blogger with Facebook recently, so I apologize for my lapse in meaty posts. I don't feel too bad about that, though, because I know a lot of you are on the FB bandwagon, too. It's digital crack, people! So that, combined with the fact that I sometimes don't speak to another adult all day, and thus my brainpower is zapped, and I'm seriously becoming less coherent. Enter Exhibit A and B (Which, btw, I still say that while she's off her rocker, there are some double standards playing out. For example, I imagine there are hundreds of parents who are allowed to take their kids home from the hospital when they have no business doing so. Can you say "Foster Care System?")

But I digress. I really DO have actual information to pass on.

Last year at tax time, Tim and I chatted about the federal adoption tax credit at length. Excluding our travel expenses, the credit would essentially allow us to recoup most of our adoption fees. We could pay off some debt and still have money leftover to stash away for a down payment on a new, larger house or perhaps even jump start our second adoption.

Tax time this year was a much more somber date with reality.

From our assessment of the laws and our dear tax advisor (TurboTax)*, we learned that you cannot claim the adoption tax credit unless your child was a US citizen and the adoption was final during that tax year. And since Nigel (and most children who are adopted from Ethiopia) came home with an IR4 Visa, he came home as a legal resident (he carries his green card in the back pocket of his onesie, yo). Now, this in and of itself is not a huge issue if your state has a speedy readoption process or you came home with your child at the beginning of the year, giving you plenty of time to complete said readoption. However, our state (Virginia) takes a while so Nigel's still not yet a US citizen, meaning we were not able to claim the adoption tax credit this year. Boo... Hiss! However, next year we're able to claim it on expenses already paid. So all will be righted.... just not right NOW. You know, when we're scraping by and counting pennies.

Additionally, because Nigel wasn't a US citizen at tax time, he didn't have a Social Security number, which is now required when you claim a dependent. So, we had to send off for an Adoption Tax Identification Number, which acts like a temporary SSN. We found this out as we were trying to file our taxes, but fortunately the IRS was quite speedy with our request for the ATIN and we were able to file in a reasonable time.

So, if your child has come home or is coming home in 2009 and you're counting on the adoption tax credit for the 2009 tax season, consider the type of Visa that your child will come home with, the time of year that your child comes home and your state's readoption process. I guess the timeless lesson here is: You can never have too much money saved away! - Sarah


***Disclaimer: Obviously you might want to consult your own tax pro. Because while I think Tim and I are a pretty smart duo, we're not the IRS.

Wow, What An Extreme Week!

Last Sunday, we got hit with tons of snow. Ok, so maybe it was more like 8-10 inches, but that's a lot for us!

But by Friday, temperatures were in the upper 70s and snowmen were dropping like flies!

Yesterday we went to a Kite Festival, where we saw kites in all shapes and sizes - including one that looked like a giant shark. Later in the day we went to the park down the street and watched two dudes practicing with their parasail-looking things... way cool!

Today, our neighbor came over to show us a snake she caught.

Then, we went for a 2-hour hike along the river.

And somewhere along the way, Nigel learned how to do this really crazy, freaked-out smile!

Let's Drill Some Wells

It's cliche, but it's true: Water is Life! We were graced with purified water for drinking and bathing during our trip to Ethiopia last summer (see above picture), but sadly, most Ethiopians aren't so fortunate. We saw children and mothers collecting water from ditches and streams, which no doubt contained harmful bacteria and parasites.

So, thanks to Lori P., bloggers across the country are coming together to build wells via Charitywater.org. For more information - as well as a more entertaining and eloquent plea - visit Lori's Web site. More importantly, you can pledge your support on her blog. We're actually making this cause our family anniversary present this year (8/3/08 is coming up quickly!). - Sarah