Oh yeah, he's adopted

My mom took me out to dinner Friday night. We had good food and laughs. I was telling her how lucky we were that Nigel hasn't been sick yet (I'm totally jinxing myself by writing that). And she said, "Well, he hasn't really been around germs or other kids that much." I agreed, and then a few minutes later I was like, "Um, he lived in a Third World country for the first four months, surrounded by lots of sick kids!"

It's not like I or my family forget Nigel's adopted - we have pictures of Ethiopia throughout the house, I attend Resolve meetings, random people stop and ask me if Nigel's adopted - and I definitely don't forget that I didn't give birth, but each day he's more and more JUST NIGEL. Just our son. Just his Lala's grandson.

Not that he ever wasn't those things, but they were also usually coupled with talk of his differences - his wild hair, getting him up-to-date on immunizations, the re-adoption process. We still discuss those things because it's part of life. But now we're just being. We just are.

Cool Jewelry

Today on FB (gotta love FB, right?) I learned that a former coworker is now making jewelry. When we worked together at the magazine I was always in awe of her paper sculptures, so it's really cool to see that she's translated that into something new! And what's even cooler is that her work is featured on poshmama.com today. Go check it out!

How Big Is Nigel? Soooooooo Big!

By Ethiopian standards, at least, Nigel was a beast when he came home. And he's continued to grow, although it's leveling off some (and my back is very happy about that). At his latest checkup on Tuesday he weighed 21.5 lbs and was 29.5 inches long. He's practically a grown man, people!

And he's moving on the big boy stuff, too.

Nigel started full-on crawling about a week after this post. He's pulling up on things. And this week he started walking behind a push toy!

He transitioned into a convertible car seat, which contrary to the test run in the living room he actually does like. If you have a girl (or don't mind putting your boy in a flowery seat), click here for a really good deal on the Britax Marathon, which is rated super high with Consumer Reports. I got Nigel's right after Christmas for $209, but the flowery ones are $189 with free shipping. Compare that to upwards of $279 at Target!

And with the presence of three teeth, it was time to get down to the business of brushing. To spread the love around, I put Tim in charge of this since I'm usually the one who does the "mean" tasks (hair combing, nose picking/sucking, etc). But wouldn't ya know it, the kid actually likes having his teeth brushed!

Sidamo Books

http://www.ethiopiareads.org/programs_publishing.htm
Out of Print right now but they have books in English and the language of Sidamo.
Tim

And So The Questions Begin....

Today I took Nigel to a play date sponsored by a mommy networking site at a local mall's play area. Nigel crawled all over the place, squealed in delight at some kids and got plenty of hugs from two of his gal pals, my friend Stephanie's daughters. Every now and then I had to chase after him because he was trying to reach into someone's purse or steal a sippie cup. He was particularly drawn to one little girl's Dora backpack filled with dolls. Her mom and I laughed about it and chatted for a few and Nigel and I went on our way.

When it was time for us to go home for a nap, this mom and I chatted some more. And you could tell me had kinda picked me out of the crowd for a reason (I'm a wallflower so it's not like people flock to me b/c I'm the life of the party). And she had.... to ask questions.

She started with "Is he adopted?" No biggie, right? Everyone's curious. I mean, it's not like I'm hiding the fact that we don't look alike. It's obvious, my hair's straight and his is curly... haha. But then she said how great it was, so many kids need homes, blah, blah, blah. This doesn't really bother me, so to speak, but I don't need a pat on the back people. Plus, whenever someone goes on and on about how great something is, it makes me wonder if they're really just trying to make themselves believe they're OK with it when they're really not. She asked to hold him, which I would never ask a stranger that but I let her (and mentally plotted how quickly I could sanitize him when we got to the car).

So at this point I'm kinda nodding along and trying to quickly cram Nigel into the stroller when she hits me with this: "So, could you not have kids of your own?" I knew this would happen eventually, but come on... I JUST met this woman. I mumbled something about it being part of our plan and got outta there.

I talked with Tim about it, but his philosophy is, "If they aren't asking to be mean, I'll answer their questions." I'm just the opposite. This woman wasn't trying to be hurtful (I don't think), but to me, asking an adoptive mom you just met whether or not they can or can't have biological children would be like me asking a bio mom how many times she and her partner had to have sex before they conceived! None of your BIDNESS! Plus, as Nigel gets older and becomes more aware of what people are saying, what is he going to make of it all? How will those questions make him feel?

All of this DOES bring me to a point. I feel like I walk a really fine line between wanting to spread the word about adoption and answering people's questions AND just being Nigel's mom and getting the same amount of respect and privacy as every other mom out there. People who ask these invasive questions don't really want to know about adoption so why should I bother; they're just being nosy. I've got canned responses like "That's really personal" or "Why do you ask" in my head, but I never seem to get them out. How do you respond to these folks? - Sarah

They're Baaaack!

Throughout our journey to our son, we have met some incredible people and strengthened existing relationships. From Steve and Debbie, who gave us a crib, glass baby bottles and amazing guidance, to our blog friends (most of whom we've never met face-to-face), who shared their stories, cheered us on and made us laugh.

Early on we connected with Bethany and Jeff - all the way across the country. They were using the same agency as us and their application date was less than a month later than ours. When it seemed like no one else even remembered what we were going through, they were always there to offer some words of encouragement or just to check in. As it turned out, Bethany and Jeff were destined for an amazing little guy and they traveled before us. True to form, Bethany hooked us up upon their return: packing list, the 411 on travel... you name it!

Bethany and Jeff broke up with Blogger not long after they returned home with their adorable son, but we've kept in touch. And now, thanks to their revived blog efforts, you can keep in touch, too. Better yet, you can follow their journey back to Ethiopia with their second adoption, now in progress. Good luck guys! - Sarah

Mälkam Gäna

We celebrated New Year's in September, and last night we feasted on Ethio food for Christmas. (If you don't know already, Ethiopia's calendar system is 8 years behind our own.) We didn't follow the traditional fasting, but we did eat well. I cooked shiro, misir wat and gomen. I got the recipes from a blog and my pal Amy and have adapted them to our taste. We also picked up a chicken and a lamb dish from the local Ethiopian restaurant.


The spread.

But perhaps the best part is that Tim scored some injera for us! My aforementioned pal Amy tipped us off to the days that a local Ethio convenience store shuttles in injera from DC. When I saw Tim walking into the house with this huge stack of bread.... I'm telling you, I was like an addict getting a fix. It took everything I had not to break into the stash the night before.


Nigel trying injera for the first time. He loves the stuff... it's the perfect consistency for someone his age.

And here's something interesting: Check out this link about "Ethiopian" cookies. - Sarah