Happy Friday!
Last night I went to my adoption support group, an amazing group of folks who are in all stages of the adoption process. It's so helpful to hear their points of view and to get their support. But I feel like I'm struggling with guilt on many levels, and Tim and I talked about it a bit last night.
First, I feel guilty that I want a to be matched with a child like TODAY! Because while it would be wonderful for us, what that ultimately means is that a birthmother is having to give up her child, and no one wants that. We're not out to break up families, only to fill needs for those families who, for whatever reason, feel they're unable to care for their child.
Secondly, I feel guilty about the children that we're unable to accept. Each week our agency sends an update along with pictures and stories of "waiting children," children who are older or have health conditions and are in desperate need of a home. Each week my eye is drawn to the most adorable 8-year-old who has spina bifida. For whatever reason I feel a connection to him, but I know that at this stage in our lives we are not equiped to give him the life he deserves; the perfect family for him is out there somewhere — they just haven't found him yet. But it still hurts.
On a much lighter note, I found some super cute products in my blog searches this week. These adoption-specific cards are so awesome! And blogger Julie rocks for having these shirts made up. I really hope Santa's bringing me one this year. My goal this weekend is to make these candies that I saw in Gourmet magazine this month. They look easy enough....
Lastly, I missed a call from my brother in Iraq today, which was quite upsetting. On the upside, he left me a quick voicemail and my mom did get to speak with him. She said he sounds good and should be coming home at his scheduled time, which is not that far away. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! — Sarah
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That is so great you went to that group! I'm sure it really opened up your mind and made you feel a little better (or just made you think more crazier about wanting your babe home). I know what you mean about the weekly updates, those older children are beautiful. I was just thinking the otherday about when we actually travel to Ethiopia and are in the orphanage how those older children feel week after week seeing all these little children being adopted out. It must just crush there heart. Thinking about that really makes me think about what I can give of myself to them while i'm there.
Anyhoo thanks for sharing all that fun stuff.
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