interesting web site at university of oregon

this is a web site and i believe an academic working group on the history of adoption. interesting not always heart warming. http://cas.uoregon.edu/uogetpage.php?page=http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~history/

Congrats to the Gurskes!!!

A big shout out to our blog pals the Gurskes, who got a referral yesterday! Many congrats!! Bethany and Jeff are going through the same agency as us, so we're sure their travel tips, etc. will be a huge help to us down the road. — Sarah

**** Update: I just read that another blogger got a referral recently, too! What a great gift!!!!

9 Months Down and Counting

Earlier this month we passed the 9-month mark of officially being on the waiting list, but we began the process more than a year ago. If this were a pregnancy we'd have a little bundle home now. Instead, I e-mailed our homestudy agency yesterday and reminded them that it's about time to renew. Does anyone know what this is going to entail? I know it's not supposed to be as involved, but would like to know what to expect. We'll also have to redo our fingerprints soon.

I, like so many other waiting parents, had told myself that by this time we'd at least have a referral. But we may very well have five more months left before that happens... and maybe more. Part of me is grateful that we don't have a referral yet, though. I read so many blogs of parents who have pictures and stories of their child, but are waiting for a court and travel date. To me, that is going to be the most difficult part of the process. But, I know we'll be able to handle that when it comes. And on the plus side, my youngest brother will be coming home from Iraq soon so he'll be able to (hopefully) be here when we bring our babe home.

Tim's still recovering from his wisdom teeth surgery. I think he's very bored. Yesterday we went to the grocery store and today we picked up a framing order just to get outta the house. He's not a sit-still kinda guy, so I think this is pretty hard for him. I'm glad he's not in pain, though.

Happy holidays to all! - Sarah

Successful Surgery

Tim's wisdom teeth surgery went very well today. He's in the other room sleeping now, and probably will be for the next day or so (I hope he doesn't wake up... the neighbor's lawn crew is going full blast with the leaf blowers next door). I'm going to try and sneak a picture of him sleeping with bags of peas tied to his head with pantyhose!!!! I know, it's not funny..... but it is.

I also wanted to pass something along to the folks that live near me. We made a lovely discovery at Mongrel last weekend: they carry adoption cards!!!! It's the only store I've seen them in, so I bought two to have on hand. Back in the spring I was in Target looking for a card for a friend who had just gotten back from picking up her little one and was so pissed not to find an adoption-specific card. -Sarah

the costs of a child

i would always be a little sceptical about those stories on how much it costs to raise a child. inevitably it seems these stories are done by either the washington post or the new york times. they are probably using people who live in those cities as thier sample group. these are two very expensive cities to live in so costs are much higher and the people who probably submit themselves like to look good by overspending as some sort of status symbol. it is not cheap but i do not think you should get stressed out over the cost. and remeber this is usually the cost of one child we would get "economies of scale" with more children so the second usually will not cost as much as the first and so on.
tim

Guilt, Links and Candy

Happy Friday!

Last night I went to my adoption support group, an amazing group of folks who are in all stages of the adoption process. It's so helpful to hear their points of view and to get their support. But I feel like I'm struggling with guilt on many levels, and Tim and I talked about it a bit last night.

First, I feel guilty that I want a to be matched with a child like TODAY! Because while it would be wonderful for us, what that ultimately means is that a birthmother is having to give up her child, and no one wants that. We're not out to break up families, only to fill needs for those families who, for whatever reason, feel they're unable to care for their child.

Secondly, I feel guilty about the children that we're unable to accept. Each week our agency sends an update along with pictures and stories of "waiting children," children who are older or have health conditions and are in desperate need of a home. Each week my eye is drawn to the most adorable 8-year-old who has spina bifida. For whatever reason I feel a connection to him, but I know that at this stage in our lives we are not equiped to give him the life he deserves; the perfect family for him is out there somewhere — they just haven't found him yet. But it still hurts.

On a much lighter note, I found some super cute products in my blog searches this week. These adoption-specific cards are so awesome! And blogger Julie rocks for having these shirts made up. I really hope Santa's bringing me one this year. My goal this weekend is to make these candies that I saw in Gourmet magazine this month. They look easy enough....

Lastly, I missed a call from my brother in Iraq today, which was quite upsetting. On the upside, he left me a quick voicemail and my mom did get to speak with him. She said he sounds good and should be coming home at his scheduled time, which is not that far away. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! — Sarah

Have You Considered The Cost?

Today, a coworker told me about an article in today's Washington Post about the cost of raising a child. "You might not want to read it, though," she said. I've seen stories like this before — where they break down diaper, clothing, food and college costs over a child's lifetime — and it's pretty daunting and scary. And I think with adoption especially, sometimes we get so focused on the costs of getting the child here that we forget about the big picture.

The article also mentions the importance of getting your financial house in order with wills and powers of attorney.

Tim and I know we need to have a will drawn up, we just haven't made the time to do it. We have, however, been stepping up our savings since he got his new job. I know it'll never be enough, but people raise children on salaries that are a lot smaller than ours, so I think we'll be fine. What kind of preparation have you done? — Sarah