Bittersweet

Yesterday was my last day as a full-time journalist/editor for a long time. I certainly didn't expect the world to come to a halt, but a little hiccup would have been nice. It would have made me feel a little less replaceable.

Please don't mistake my sadness for regret. I'm SO looking forward to this new chapter in my life (this morning, for instance, I got a lot accomplished with the help of my mom and even had time to meet a fab pal and her two awesome daughters for coffee), but it's going to be so different from what I've been used to. I can't imagine not having adult interaction 24-7, venting about current events, listening to coworkers sing silly songs and having monthly gratification with each published magazine. I feel like a need a proper way to grieve my old self. It's going to be an adjustment, measuring my self-worth in an entirely different way. It's kind of shallow in a way to think that so much of my life was wrapped up in my job, actually.

In 2002 I quit working FT to finish my degree, but the goal was always to go back to working full time immediately. Plus, my previous job was not that intellectually stimulating. This time is obviously different for various reasons. While there were certainly times when I wanted to throw in the towel at the magazine, the people were my second family and I loved the work. The more they piled on, the more I loved it.

In a few months, once we're all used to each other and have established a routine, it'll be fun to pitch stories to new publications and enter that phase of life. I hope the transition is easy for everyone. I thank my husband in advance for his caring, understanding nature and my SAHM friends for the support that they've already given me. - Sarah